Okay, so the title can be very misleading but allow me to explain before you automatically assume that once again, my week was terrible.
Twenty-fifteen has actually been pretty good to me so far. I went bowling last weekend with a group of friends from school and it was actually pretty fun and the people were all cool. Even when I accidentally threw a ball across two lanes. It actually takes immense skill to do that though. Nonetheless, not too sure I will be invited bowling again anytime soon but that's not the point. It was fun and I was out late and I felt like a teenager. I felt like someone with no problems and no past and just a whole night of extreme weird and crazy fun to look forward to. And then of course my friend's ex-whatever he was (they had a thing but it never was really a relationship?) predictably attempted to hit on me via kik, but honestly I could care less because it's not going anywhere. Most likely because it's been a week since he last "kik-ed" me and I still haven't replied. It is what it is.
Also good, vaguely remember that friend I was talking about who I got into a fight with over something so stupid? If you don't well then there's your recap but anyways I think we're cool now. I mean we've moved past that so that's good but it's kind of a haunting reminder of how bad things can get when you take everything literally.
So my week wasn't terrible, just eventful (?). Of course it was the start of the new year, which meant the start of a new semester, which meant new topics and test and all that jazz (if you get the reference :P). It felt stressful, but overall it wasn't too bad. I passed my PE and Math benchmarks and my huge Spanish project from last semester, so it's all good (hopefully that doesn't jinx anything). Not too rough of a start, and hopefully it stays the same throughout 2015. I'm trying to make some changes to the amount of control I have over my life, and so far it's working pretty well.
Twenty-fifteen also means the start of the school soccer season, so we had 3 practices (including yesterday's intense conditioning) and 2 games, one of which we lost 2-1 and the other tied 2-2 but they cut the game we tied short by 20 minutes because it was getting dark and the school can't afford lights even though they can pay for a huge football team and cheerleading squad, but if you want to talk about that we can do it somewhere else.
I also started reconnecting with the aforementioned friend, but I have a feeling there's something I should tell her but I don't know how to say it so I'm going to type it and then decide. Or you can help me decide. So anyways, this guy that we fought over (for all purposes, "Guy 1") and I have known each other for years. Since we were like 3. He was one of my first best friends and we were pretty close until we went separate ways for Kindergarten. I didn't see him much after that, not until around 7th grade when I realized he was best friends with the neighbor I then hated. We didn't talk or hang out or anything much unless we were both with my neighbor (parents are friends), so it's not like anything happened. So of course I was reminded of his existence. But then nothing happened until what happened earlier this year (school year I mean) and now it's like he shows up everywhere I am. It's most likely entirely coincidental, but I've been walking the same way through the hallways since the beginning of freshman year and not once have I passed him before. But the other day, as I was walking through the hall with my friend (not the one I was in a fight with), he walked by me. And I hate drama. I can't stand it. I don't want a repeat of what happened, so I looked ahead. I walked by like he wasn't even there but I could see him out of the corner of my eye and I could see that he was looking at me and I could see that he was smiling and I could see. And my friend could see, as she so politely pointed out afterwards that he smiled at me. Like smiled at me. And honestly when I walked by him I felt something. I don't know how to describe it but it was almost like an AHA! moment. Except I don't know what I was AHA!-ing. I had tried to forget about him for the past month and focused on the fact that there's another guy (the same Guy 2 as before) and now I don't know what to do. I don't know if I should say something or forget about it or what and I don't know how to handle it. So I'm sitting in my house ignoring my homework and watching episode after episode of Switched At Birth, trying to formulate a way to figure things out and I think that if I go this next week not thinking about anything related to either guy, I will be able to sort things out in my head.
So, not AWFUL, but not normal. Rough starts. It's a rough start but things can change so I'm looking forward to it.
Be sure to comment or something because I'm thinking about doing an updates kind of post within the next week or so and I want to get this blog back to where it was before I started slacking off.
Love you :)
- ash
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