Hey :) I will admit I did not have a good week. And therefore I am not in a good mood. It's not even one thing that's contributing to my down-ness, it's more like everything. I'll start with last week, as that is where everything started falling apart.
Last week was pretty normal up until Friday. I had soccer practice every day except for Monday, as I had a pre-season game that night. We won 5-0 :) but it didn't count for anything, so it doesn't really matter. It matters to me. Other than that, it was the last week of normal school since this week was "Dead Week" and next week is Finals (the stress). I was starting to feel better about myself, up until Saturday and Sunday. But I'm not there yet. Friday night my friend had a "kickback" (aka a small party) with only like 12 people, mostly guys but they're all pretty cool. We all go to the same school (although one of them thought I was a sophomore at another school, which was really funny when I told him I was a freshman at the same school), and pretty much spent the time playing "beer" pong (IT WAS SODA DO NOT WORRY) and listening to the guys tell stories about some of the crazy funny things they did in middle school. We tried playing truth or dare, but that didn't go too well. It was fun and the only bummer was that I had to get up at 6 AM the next morning for soccer and the kickback ended at 11. Saturday morning I had a soccer game versus Ana and her school (side note: we should have won ;) but don't tell Ana I said so), which we tied 1-1. It was a good game, I just wish it hadn't been so darn early. Don't get me wrong, I love soccer, but the times I have to get up kill me sometimes. Although I guess it's like that with all sports. Oh well, it's part of the sacrifice.
Saturday afternoon got very interesting and I'm still pretty pissed off. I'm not gonna lie, I was so pissed at one point I almost screamed. But I didn't. Because for some stupid reason I don't want my mom to know what happened. It's not bad but... let me just tell you.
Basically a while back my kind-of-friend (he's my neighbor and we're starting to get along better now than we did before - story for a rainy day) and some of his friends were telling me how cute I would look with this one guy who was their friend. And so it got me thinking. This specific guy (let's name him #1) is actually really cute, funny, and he plays soccer which is like a huge plus. And he's fast. And he's muscular. ANYWAYS (sorry about that), I kind of decided I kind of maybe sort of liked #1. But, I also kind of sort of possibly liked this other guy who is cute, funny, sweet, and also athletic but he doesn't play soccer (for all purposes, we'll call him #2) too (lol double two/too if you see what I mean). Moving on, one of my best friends went and hung out with #1 and this is how things went down (in text form of course because I'm bored and procrastinating on studying):
Me: I am so jealous that you're hanging out with #1. (side note: of course I actually used his name, but that's irrelevant)
BFF: Haha ;) I think we might hang out again soon.
Me: It kind of sounds like he likes you...
BFF: I hope he does.
Because
I
Like
Him
Too
.
.
.
That is literally what happened. Exactly what was said. I am not lying at all. I don't even care that she likes the same guy, but the way she brought it up pisses me off. It's not something that can be taken lightly, considering she had known for weeks that I liked that guy. It's literally the most stupid thing in the world to fight over, but I told her how it made me feel (like an adult) and asked her what we needed to do to prevent this from ruining our friendship. And then she got mad at me. No reason at all, she just did. Like I was the one who freaking started it. And now she won't talk to me. Won't look at me in the hallways, won't pass by me, won't even indirectly convey messages to me. Nothing. And I feel bad, but I'm sicking of blaming myself for everything.
This is getting really long, but basically she eats lunch with him and #2 now, so you can imagine I'm kind of really just done. And I almost fell into a trash can today in front of a bunch of seniors and #2 and his friends and nobody even cared. On the bright side, my friend and I made some bomb-ass (excuse my language) cookies for homeroom, so that was pretty exciting.
Honestly I think I am just way overstressed about everything. As soon as Finals are over I am hitting the couch and never leaving. I will spend my entire break in my pajamas and on the couch if it means not having to deal with anything anymore. And then comes a new year, and I am looking forward to some good resolutions because I need a change. And I need it bad.
What would you do if your best friend and you were in the same situation I'm in now? Do I text her and try to make things better? Or was the friendship never meant to last? I would love some advice... and I know that I am probably not the only person to have gone through something like this.
As always, follow us on our social media pages (New Year's Resolution #1: Focus on blog more...) to keep up with the latest information (New Year's Resolution #2: Actually update social media pages...)!
Talk to ya later ;)
- ash
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